Personal Narrative

In my kitchen I cook gibberish

It is strictly advised to take the following words with more than a grain of salt.

My kitchen, my chicken because it is my frrriction. It might sicken you.

Since I do not talk about logic and have a high deficiency of Vitamin Sensibility, proceed ahead at your own risk. The sensory stimulations might cause you to puke. All intelligibility is just a fluke. (These l’s in itneglibilty made my head spin. Tough word.) Before moving ahead, may I ask you to get a bowl of salt? Any salt will work. Once you have it with you, please turn it upside down on your head.

Done? Great. The rest of the journey will be smoother now (for me, of course).

The insides of my head taste colorful. Each neuron has its unique aroma. Some of them are very bitter. I will give you an estimate of their bitterness. Take a bottle with a tight cap and fill it with red wine. Add cocoa and coffee without being stingy. Next, add bitter melon juice and green tea. And if you have time, that you definitely have, grind citrus peel and add to it. Shake it well.

Shake Shake Shake

Now, be brave and take a sip. Let it touch all the inner linings of your mouth. Let its taste penetrate all the taste buds on your tongue. Feel it as it climbs upward towards your nose and head. Don’t open the latch of your mouth. No, don’t let it get out. Swallow it.

Ugh. Yuck. Yuck. 

Some of my neurons are even more bitter than that. With time they turn rustier and B.I.T.T.E.R. You can say that I am cursed with all the bitterness left on the roadsides. However, some of my neurons are so sweet that one lick will cause cavities in all your teeth. And a few might fall as well. I bet you will not try to smell their sweetness. Will you? No worries. I understand. I don’t like their taste either. Why will I? They make my brain foggy and bloated with anxiety. My mind has grown plump, moody, and irritable. My persistent struggle to lose the angry but nervous, outrageous but shy weight is a jagged jaggery fiasco. I don’t want to work out to burn my motivational calories to get a better day. Sweetness is taking its toll on me.

Anyway, I have also got a friendly stock of sour neuronal connections. If you touch them with the tip of your tongue, they will make you squeeze your eyes shut and your mouth wide open. Your teeth will tingle, and all nerves buried beneath them will perform Zumba. Although I didn’t want to flaunt, I have got a perfect set of thirty-two teeth that can taste anything with utmost perfection. My tongue is too lazy to do anything. It occasionally goes for a sprint but doesn’t have enough stamina to finish any race. So, my teeth have to compensate for its silence. They have to smell as well because I can’t ask for any favor from my nose. It is extra sensitive. I have to take special care of it – keeping it dry. The frequent rain and thunder make it marshy. And it is getting worse than Lord Voldemort’s nose. (I know it’s old.) It is becoming No Nose. I have blown it so much that one day it flew away. It is now just two holes and all clogged up. Stuffy nose and a little bit of tissue.

Ahem, don’t make faces.

By now, you must have formed some opinion about my eyes. Due to the stark asymmetry of my head, my left eye is always more sleepy than the right one. No, it has nothing to do with me sleeping with my left eye open. Anyway, my eyes look pretty in their bloodshot gowns. I drink heavily. I prefer to say that I have the luxury to drink extravagantly. No wonder why I always sound so high! My asymmetry is glamorized even more by Strabismus that has caused my eyes to run in opposite directions. One is always looking at the outer world, and the other continuously surveilling dark corners of my mind. A big thanks to the frequent flood sponsored by the tidal waves of the salty ocean. They veil their cross nature.

And my ears, want to make any wild guess? 

Well, they are normal like yours. They love to sing “Happy Together” in a chorus.

Could you please stop staring at my head now? Because my throat is even more fascinating. The inner lump has grown so much that you can almost … 

Nanopoblano 2020 – 8/10