Pro Tip: It’s about my marriage with Covid-19.
That’s Sofia Karlberg singing in the background as I am going insane after being quarantined with my husband on our first honeymoon. This month was a roller-coaster with many lows and fewer ups. I had my birthday, got a job, met my love, received a marriage proposal, accepted it, got married, and now this honeymoon. But these all are ups? No, they are not. The next nearest low is my divorce getting finalised in a week. I am done with him. This marriage was an absolute disaster. If you want to know more, hang on.
I finished my college in March, and around that same time I noticed him for the first time. My heart did tic-tic when it should have been just tic, and then it missed the next tic. I couldn’t take my eyes off him. My mouth was wide open. I swallowed really hard and disappeared before he could have even noticed me. I started observing him discreetly. Completely undercovered, no chance that he could have even noticed me. I observed that he is the life and soul of the party. Flirtatious crocodile. He asks everyone for coffee, for lunch, for dinner, even for a date so casually as if he’s bisexual. I was flummoxed. But then he is very sincere, warm, and a good egg. You just say hello or look him in his eyes and he’ll be on his knees asking you what he can do? Aww!
While I was searching for every single piece of information about him, he had no idea about my existence. I also never went to say hello to him. I was scared and obviously I was wearing a mask while following him. One night when I was following him back home, I got the feeling that he saw me. I thought he was going to turn around and punch me in my face. Or one of his security guards is going to lock me up in some prison in some other country. He is a multimillionaire, travels world wide, has his own personal aircraft. And I was pretty sure he would have some confidential and very powerful visa that allows him to travel anywhere in the world on a second’s notice. He could have easily killed me in the night. It won’t be a big deal. Fortunately nothing happened to me and I was back home sound and safe without getting noticed. Afterwards, I never followed him again on the road. But I continued visiting every possible website with his name on it. However, with him out of sight I was not enjoying it any longer. I was getting bored by this research. He started looking like a normal virus. I was giving up on him. Nothing could have started between us.
I started afresh. I stopped the venture to know more about him. I stopped thinking about him. My new job was on my mind. I was determined that he will never know me. Then came my birthday. I had long conversations with my friends and relatives. And yet I was a little restless. I was not sure what to do about the letter – the handwritten letter – that I received from him. He wished me on my birthday. What the heck! How he knew my address, my name, my birthday? Was he also following me? That could not be true. But the other important issue was the gift. The letter said that my gift will arrive tomorrow.
What could be my gift? Oh God! Is he going to ask me to marry him? Because if he did, I won’t be able to decline his offer. It’s very romantic, but it should not happen in reality. It’s just a perfect dream. Trying to turn it into reality is going to mess it. I had a sleepless night. I was so exhausted that I fell asleep in the morning. I got up in shock. It was his voice. He was talking with my father. He must have befriended him. That’s his thing. If you go close to him, you are trapped. You can’t help but get infected by his deadly charm.
I asked Mom who has come. I actually wanted to know her opinion about him. And she was quite neutral. She must have stayed at a distance. My brother didn’t like him a bit. He checked him out and had a conversation and didn’t like him. So, there are people who find him creepy. But what the hell? What is he doing here? Is he my birthday gift? Well, I can’t decipher if he has come for me or for my father? It doesn’t seem they are meeting for the first time. I am standing at the door seeing Papa and him having a drink and bursting into laughter now and then. Are they school friends? I am into oldies but he couldn’t be 40+. No way! He looks as if … as if he is still a child! Okay, as if he is a fresh college graduate! Has he told Papa that I was stalking him? I wish not.
He called my name. My head jerked up. I managed to force a smile. I said hi and he wished me a happy birthday. We shook hands and there – he did his magic. I lost all control. It was the first time that I saw him so closely. He felt fresh and not a pinch of guilt to flirt with everyone – and I mean everyone. My hand was in his hand. I surrendered. Was it really a trap or he really appreciated me? Suddenly Dad called my name. I was forced to move out of my thoughts. He let go off my hand but I could feel his scent on it. To take it more deeply I rubbed my nose as if it’s itching a lot. Dad called me again and said, “he is going to stay here for the rest of the month”. Really? Was he not supposed to leave after lunch? He whom I stalked for months, read every single article about him, is now going to break all the walls of immunity that I constructed for him in the last few weeks.
I only know that he gripped me. He casted his spell very neatly. And on the fifth day he proposed to me. I had anticipated it, but now when it happened I was shocked. There was a lump in my throat. I didn’t want to swallow anything. I wanted a continuous warm liquid to run down my throat. The dream was on the border of reality. And the coming night was going to erase that border. I was in his embrace, he was warming me more and more. We slept together that night, and the following nights.
I asked him how he knew about me? He replied that his eyes are on all those eyes that are on him. Why didn’t I understand that he was saying that he couldn’t be monogamous even after our marriage? I was so blinded with excitement that I said Yes to him. After five days, I was holding our wedding certificate and he was flirting again with everyone. I was furious at his behaviour, I was burning. But he is magical. His one touch and I cooled down. And now my nose was running. I wanted to get involve in an argument with him but got distracted because my phone was ringing. It was a call from the firm suggesting to postpone my joining for another week. That’s fantastic, I wanted that. My husband winked at me and said Happy Honeymoon. It was my wedding gift. He is something, isn’t he? And now that I am his wife, I am no longer an ordinary girl. What I didn’t know was that the world is going to be scared of me.
Marriage is not an easy task, your heart makes a lot of flips. I don’t understand the need for a wedding ceremony. We can have that certificate and no celebration. To be honest, I didn’t want any guests. Many people called to congratulate us and then gave a very obvious excuse for their inability to attend the reception. The more I wanted the things to be normal the more these calls made them dramatic. A new bride can never be left alone in the corner. I was completely worn out. Actually it was not these calls or the attention, it was him who was pulling something out of me. He had full control of my parents. He was dominating our relationship, and I let that happen. His spell was difficult to break. He didn’t want me to drink tea. He didn’t allow me to do exercise. There is a limit, he should have understood that. I broke all the shackles and drank a lot of tea, coconut water, and hot water. I exercised, took protein, multi-vitamins, and checked my oxygen level every morning. I even started taking paracetamol. I don’t care if he is a multimillionaire! I can’t compromise with my freedom.
I am a newly wed girl, on her first honeymoon. And I am looking forward to get done with all the formalities of divorce asap. And just like that my one month relationship is getting over. I know it’s not going to affect him much, he will be snogging someone else. That’s what he does. A bad egg. After all he is the novel coronavirus!